what's in a fart?

warning: this post is not for those sensitive to subjects concerning bodily functions.

you know folks, when contemplating my entry for tonight, something came up and i decided to discuss the topic less talked about. chad and i were in the kitchen earlier, and he accused me, yes me, of farting! he said that he smelled it. well, i didn't do it, so i protested. he insisted that it's only me, him and claire (the dog) in the house, and if he didn't do it then.... i told him that there's no way i did it and i know that for a fact because, if i were going to pass gas, i would've had to use my "special technique". but, i didn't use my "special technique", therefore, i didn't do it. plus, pixie farts don't stink!

so what is this special technique...i think all girls have one. ya got to! this is how we preserve our image. like i said, this is my "special technique" taught to me by my favorite cousin. thanks cuz! there's two different way to do it (mine is the latter). it seems that the most common and well known is to let it out slow. apparently it's supposed to minimize both smell and sound. in my opinion, the risk is just too high on both with this method. if this is your way, it's time to change it up! instead, you gotta hold one cheek open. yep, that's it. hold one cheek open (you can do it with your hand or sometimes just leaning does the trick) and you can release naturally. there will be only silence! it works like a charm-even chad thinks so! he's totally a convert! now, if you've got a smell issue, you're gonna have to work something out, i.e. casually take some space. but, it should work.

go ahead and try it out on your own. perfect your technique before you pull it out in public. good luck, and happy passing!